The Day I Prayed For My Brother To Have Cancer

I don’t know how long I sat there. My hands were clasped in sweaty-palmed desperation. My eyes were shut and my jaw clenched. The office bustled around me and phones rang. I ignored the morning commotion of the sales office and concentrated. I was praying. Bargaining, really. I was cutting deals left and right with […]

Lessons From the Worst Day Of My Life

It was my wedding day. I found myself standing outside the doors to the chapel. My heart was racing. Pressure began building inside and I felt my eyes fill up with tears. I can’t do this. Before I could turn and run, the doors were flung open. I was caught off guard as 80 expectant […]

Today, I Will Remember The Times We Used To Share

Sittin on top of the world, Sittin on top of the world. Remember the times we used to play, We sing and we’d dance all damn day… -Lenny Kravitz, Sittin On Top Of the World   This is an anniversary I never wanted to celebrate. One I wish I could forget or ignore. Fifteen years […]

Finding Perspective In A Life Under Water

“Darkness has a hunger that’s insatiable and lightness has a call that’s hard to hear.” -Indigo Girls, Closer to Fine  Do you know why I hate drama? Aside from the fact that negativity breeds like a voracious beast, it’s just so damn wasteful. So much time and energy can be wasted on drama. And almost […]

The Longest Goodbye

“You were fighting every day So hard to hide the pain. I know you never said goodbye, I had so much left to say. One last song, given to an Angel’s son.” -Sevendust, Angel’s Son I never said goodbye. It’s taken me 14 years to realize it. I remember so much and so little about […]

A Life Unplanned

“Then we’d go running on faith, All of our dreams would come true, And our world will be right When love comes over me and you” -Eric Clapton, Running On Faith If I could sum up the way I live my life, I would say that I wing it. I feel my way. I kind […]

My Brother By the Numbers

“Tell me how… ‘n show me now.. To understand… What makes a good man? Tell me now… Hey walk the line… Hey understand… What makes a good man?” -The Heavy, What Makes A Good Man It’s different every year. I never know what to expect. Some years it’s a day of celebrating. Some years it’s […]

Oh, brother.

“Remember the times that we used to share…  You got to remember the times that we used to share….  But the only way for you to survive is to open your heart, it will guide.” -Lenny Kravitz, Sittin’ On Top of the World I didn’t want a younger sibling.  I wasn’t completely opposed to the […]

Lessons From the Worst Day of My Life

“And I know it aches and your heart it breaks and you can only take so much….  Walk on.” -U2, Walk On It was my wedding day. We had spent the past year and a half planning every little detail, the string quartet, the candles, the sunset. Yes, even the sunset. One year before our […]